Depression and Anxiety Support Forum

ness · Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:53 am Post subject: wanting different things

ok - bit long but have to give you the background
Matt and I moved into DH's in July 2006. Got married Oct 2006. DH and I discussed wanting to move to the country on a bigger property, preferably at Ballarat where I could get a job transfer very easily......he'd stay at home....plan was back then to start Matt at high school in Ballarat
once Jess was born and I got involved with playgroup, friends with kids, etc I really didn't want to move - told DH this several times....not to mention my mental health ie. being away from support with friends/family, Dr/Psych etc
DH was always in two minds about selling this house or keeping it as a rental which would easily pay off the small mortgage so being on only my wage wouldn't be a problem
I said about 8 months ago I had changed my mind and I'm pretty sure I told him the reasons, and also that Matt wanted to go to high school in Lilydale
well on sunday we were talking about it and he lost it - well we won't move til we're retired, blah, blah - that sort of thing......very negative about wanting to stay here
the problem is, he's been looking to buy bigger houses in our area for a while so he HAS heard what I've said, but now he's choosing to say he hasn't
he also thinks that Matt doesn't want to move full stop (which isn't true, just doesn't want to move away from friends which I understand). I think part of it is DH had lived in the same house all his life, never changed schools, so he doesn't understand....Matt went to 3 primary schools FFS!!!! Like I did and I didn't like it
anyway I don't know how to get this sorted - DH isn't prepared to increase the mortgage at all and what frustrates me is he hasn't spoken to the bank about re-mortgaging and I can't because the home loan is his not ours if that makes sense???
It just seems like its another thing driving us apart Rolling Eyes

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Mish · Newbie Joined: 12 Jan 2010 Posts: 19

not sure what to say ness except i would love to have you in ballarat!!!
you should do what is best for you and your fam and that sounds like staying in melb. you need support and matt needs stability, thats whats most important right now.

how are things going with you and Craig? i really hope its better and he is making an effort. he needs to realise how lucky he is to have you.

ness · Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:33 pm Post subject:

things aren't getting better unfortunately mish Sad

Jess gets upset every time he raises his voice and coz I'm toilet training, she has pee'd her pants too sometimes
he just doesn't get it and I'm so frustrated
I know I'm not perfect but at leats I try to fix things ya know
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Mish · Newbie Joined: 12 Jan 2010 Posts: 19

have you thought about what you will do if he wont seek help?
big hugs hun